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HyReviews.com

The Most Complete & Accurate Info on NYC's Best Live Comedy Shows
Stand-Up, Improv, Sketch, Storytelling, Variety, and More, Fully Updated Daily—
Plus Comedy Discounts, Theatre Discounts, Top Jokes, Top Videos, and More

 

From legendary NYC comedy site Brooklyn Vegan: Thank God for Hy Bender's religiously updated show bible Best New York Comedy (or HyReviews.com). He is literally the only person in NYC providing daily summaries of what's happening comedy-wise. It must be exhausting keeping that monster of a website alive.It is your daily comedy itinerary and it scares me how on top of his shit this guy is.

 

Hy Bender

 

Last updated on Friday May 29th 2015

 

Please click to go directly to:

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HyReviews.com's Comedy Album of the Month: Dave Hill's Let Me Turn You On

Other NYC Live Shows, Heavily Discounted via Goldstar; Click Image to See Deal

HyReviews.com Favorite Jokes

Previous HyReviews.com Comedy Videos of the Month

NYC Comedy Club Discounts—NO COVER on all Eastville & Broadway Comedy shows!

(Eastville Comedy, Greenwich Village Comedy, Broadway Comedy, Dangerfield's)

Hy's Book Proposal, Screenplay Doctoring, and Ghostwriting Services

 

NYC Comedy Picks for Friday 5/29/15

TV Alert: Joel McHale and Courteney Cox are on James Corden (repeated from 4/22);
Chelsea Peretti is on Seth Meyers (repeated from 5/18)

 

New York Funny Songs Festival

It's Day 2 of the three-day New York Funny Songs Festival; for the complete schedule, please click here

Recommendations for the best in New York City comedy tonight
(in chronological order, with top picks noted and shows over $10 marked with $) include:

[TOP PICK] [FREE] 7:00 pm: Ted Alexandro (one of the very finest stand-ups in the country; David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, two Comedy Central Presents half-hour specials; comedy album I Did It; frequently opens for Louis C.K.) tries out new material every night this week at The Creek upstairs theatre in Queens' Long Island City: Week at the Creek: Ted Alexandro

[TOP PICK] [$] 7:00 pm, 8:00 pm, 8:45 pm, 10:30 pm, and 12:15 am ($20-$24 per show, plus 2-item food/drink min.): Todd Barry, Paul Mecurio, Joe Machi, Ryan Hamilton, Nick Griffin, Greer Barnes, Gregg Rogell, Lynne Koplitz, Rachel Feinstein, Robert Kelly, Lenny Marcus, Ricky Velez, and Dov Davidoff, with all shows at Comedy Cellar (117 MacDougal Street, between 3rd Street & Minetta Lane) except for the 8:00 pm show at Village Underground (130 West 3rd Street, off Sixth Avenue): Comedy Cellar Friday

[TOP PICK] [$] [DISCOUNTED] 7:00 pm & 9:00 pm & 11:00 pm (FREE TICKETS if you reserve in advance by calling (212) 260-2445 and mention HyReviews.com, but there's still a 2-drink min. per person): Todd Barry (David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Comedy Central Presents, FX's Louie, HBO's Flight of the Conchords and Bored to Death, Adult Swim, co-star of feature film The Wrestler, star of delightful documentary The Crowd Work Tour), Moody McCarthy, Gary Vider, Jordan Rock, and more performing at the only comedy club in the East Village: Eastville Comedy Club

7:00 pm ($10): Philip Casale performs one-man film noir sketch comedy at The PIT downstairs lounge directed by Christopher Aurilio: Detective Jack Fiction & Other Folks Who Donít Exist No More

7:00 pm ($10): Two improv groups each make up a musical on the spot at The PIT upstairs theatre: [title of team] and Royals

7:00 pm ($5): Three improv teams compete in this cutthroat battle for laughs. What's different about this cage match is it's judged by a dog. Every week features a new human guest judge—whose opinion doesn't really matter—and a guest canine judge who will actually decide the fates of everyone based on which bowl this dog goes to first. It all happens at Brooklyn's The Annoyance Theatre (367 Bedford Avenue; take J/M/Z to Marcy Avenue or L to Lorimer Street): Dog Fight

7:00 pm ($7): "A descendant of breakthrough improv group Burn Manhattan. our opening dialogue is the spark to ignite a myriad of scenes, monologues, songs, and more" at The Magnet theatre: Johnny Lunchpail

[TOP PICK] 7:30 ($5): Ace improvisors Shannon O'Neill and Tami Sagher team with guests to make up scenes on the spot at the UCB Chelsea theatre: Tami and Shannon Have Friends

[TOP PICK] 7:30 pm ($10): Improv group Bucky makes up one long scene in the same location (a winning form that's helped such teams as Death by Roo Roo win a whole lot of Cage Match victories)—and, when SNL is on break, sometimes includes star Sasheer Zamata—at the UCB East theatre: Bucky: Here and Now

[TOP PICK] 8:00 pm ($10): A superb dark comedy musical band celebrates the publication of its first album—joined by duos The Reformed Whores (raunchy comedic singing duo Marie Cecile Anderson & Katy Frame; album Ladies Don't Spit; CBSí The Doctors) and Dream Team—at Brooklyn's Bar Matchless back room (557 Manhattan Avenue, near the G subway's Nassau Avenue stop): The Cowmen Album Release Party

[TOP PICK] [DISCOUNTED] 8:00 pm ($7.50 online using code JFL; no min.): Rising stand-ups audition for the prestigious Montreal Just for Laughs Festival at The Stand Comedy Club (239 Third Avenue & 20th Street): Just For Laughs Stand-Up Auditions

[TOP PICK] [$] [DISCOUNTED] 8:00 pm ($24.75 via Goldstar [vs. $29 at the door]): The only FringeNYC show to ever include a barbershop quartet singing about alcohol and three rounds for each audience member (for my full review, which includes a rave for the spectacular Nicole DiMattei, please click here) is now playing as a perfect show for a date every Friday & Saturday night at the West Village's Soho Playhouse (15 Vandam Street, in the downstairs Huron Club): The Imbible: A Spirited History of Drinking

[TOP PICK] 8:00 pm ($10): Improvisors make up a religion based on an audience suggestion—e.g., The Church of the Carrot, The Church of Crime—and then make up hymns, readings, sermons, sacraments, and more on the spot at The PIT upstairs theatre: Fake Church

8:00 pm ($10): Two PIT downstairs lounge improv groups making up a musical on the spot. Dagger includes Abby Holland (VH1's Best Night Ever, musical improv groups Aquarius and Veal), and Hello includes Lorraine Cink (especially lovely singing voice; host & writer of Marvel Comics' The Watcher): Dagger and Hello

8:00 pm ($8): "Long, long ago, by the banks of the river Marinara, where breadstick trees grew in unlimited amounts, in the steamy valley of mozzarella, there was a sleepy little hamlet known as the town of pizza. And the people of this town were a simple, smiling folk, who loved soft drinks, and arcade games, and maintained a friendly family atmosphere. Oh, they were an eclectic bunch: a mayor with a gluttonous lust for power; a bum who tasted glory but lost it all; a fisherman desperate for one last bite. But in one house lived a man who wasÖa little different" at Brooklyn's The Annoyance Theatre (367 Bedford Avenue; take J/M/Z to Marcy Avenue or L to Lorimer Street): Slice of Life

[TOP PICK] [$] 8:30 pm ($16.82 in advance online or $20 at the door; ticket includes FREE BEER & WINE, plus 15% discount on Pleasure Chest products): At this best sexy storytelling show in NYC, storytellers & comics Amber Nelson (dynamic stand-up & character comic; Comedy Central; sketch group Murderfist), Soojeong Son (co-host of The Shame Game), Maria Heinegg, and a "surprise guest" tell tales of erotic encounters gone awry at The Pleasure Chest (1150 Second Avenue, between 60th & 61st Streets) hosted by the wonderful Natalie Wall: Awkward Sex...and the City

[TOP PICK] 8:30 pm ($10): Before this Magnet show, audience members may anonymously submit written confessions, secrets, rants, advice and opinions which will be used onstage by the improvisors—who include such talents as Sebastian Conelli (2014 Cage Match Champion The Enemy): The Friday Night Sh*w

[FREE] 8:30 pm: A 90-minute variety show featuring stand-up, sketch, improv, and music at The Creek upstairs theatre in Queens' Long Island City hosted by Tom Brink & Keele Howard-Stone: Wolf Spirit with Tom and Keele

[MEGA-TOP PICK] [$] 9:00 pm ($10): Some of the finest improv in the country from brilliant comics Shannon O'Neill, Connor Ratliff, Jordan Klepper, Don Fanelli, Silvija Ozols, and/or Michael Delaney forming a seamless and hilarious group mind at UCB Chelsea—the all-star members of The Stepfathers

[TOP PICK] 9:00 pm ($10): Cipha Sounds (Hot 97, Chappelle's Show) thought it would be cool if a hip-hop star told tales and then improvisors made up scenes based on them. This monthly show is the result, with a "secret" music celebrity "mesmerizing the crowd with amazing stories and linguistic darts to spark the creativity of some of the best improvisers in NYC," the latter being Anthony Atamanuik, Natasha Rothwell, Brandon Gardner, Lydia Hensler, Christian Capozzoli, and/or Shaun Diston at the UCB East theatre: Take It Personal: The Hip-Hip Improv Show

9:30 pm ($5): Improvisors make up a movie on the spot at The PIT downstairs lounge: Movie Night

9:30 pm ($5): This variety show features stand-up, characters, dance, improv, and/or more at Brooklyn's The Annoyance Theatre (367 Bedford Avenue; take J/M/Z to Marcy Avenue or L to Lorimer Street) hosted by Carmen Christopher: The Juice

9:30 pm ($10): Eight stand-ups compete for your laughs by telling jokes on topics handed to them just this morning at The PIT downstairs lounge refereed by Jenn Welch & Will Neville: The Stand-Up Showdown

[TOP PICK] [DISCOUNTED] 10:00 pm ($7.50 online using code JFL; no min.): Rising stand-ups audition for the prestigious Montreal Just for Laughs Festival at The Stand Comedy Club (239 Third Avenue & 20th Street): Just For Laughs Stand-Up Auditions

[TOP PICK] 10:00 pm ($10): Top comedic music talents Chris "Shockwave" Sullivan, Rebecca Vigil, Carolyn Castiglia, Victor Varnado, and Miss Represent make up songs on the spot as part of the NY Funny Songs Fest at Queens LIC's The Creek upstairs theatre hosted by Boris Khaykin and streamed live on DailyMotion.com: Improvised Funny Jams

[TOP PICK] 10:00 pm ($10): Musical improv group Premiere—which features the best improv piano player in the biz, Frank Spitznagel—springboards off an audience suggestion to create a complete story with song and dance at The Magnet theatre: Premiere: The Improvised Musical

[TOP PICK] [$] 10:00 pm ($42 plus 2-drink minimum):The longest-running cast member in Saturday Night Live's history, and whose impressions have been widely applauded for their uncanny accuracy and range; and a talented stand-up who's been a frequent guest on David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, and Jay Leno, headlining tonight and Saturday at the Carolines Comedy Club: Darrell Hammond

[TOP PICK] 10:30 pm ($10): Superb improvisors Craig Rowin, Matt Fisher, Sue Galloway, Dan Klein, Brian Faas, Matt Moses, and/or Conner O'Malley—who this year defeated The Stepfathers and thoroughly crushed another troupe at Cage Match before losing by a single vote—make up scenes about an audience member's legal dispute at the UCB Chelsea theatre: The Law Firm: Law & Disorder

10:30 pm ($10): The wonderful Langan Kingsley (rising star; sketch group Beige, improv group What I Did For Love, one-woman show The Dicewoman Cometh), plus Adam Alexander Hamilton, Drew Michael, Michael Cruz, and Joel Kim Booster, performing stand-up, sketch, or storytelling at UCB East hosted by improvisors Brandon Scott Jones, D'Arcy Carden, Justin Tyler, Kelly Hudson, and/or Alden Ford: Gentrify

10:30 pm ($5): "A live podcast in which the audience and hosts take a shot of beer every minute" at Brooklyn's The Annoyance Theatre (367 Bedford Avenue; take J/M/Z to Marcy Avenue or L to Lorimer Street): Power Hour

[TOP PICK] 11:00 pm ($10): Sketch/improv group Gentlemen Party tonight plays with TV tropes, presenting "adorable alien buddies, BBC period dramas, politicos talking really fast, and at least one Olive Garden commercial...and thatís just the written half! The other half is improv" at The PIT upstairs theatre: Gentlemen Party: White Teen Lake—The Series Finale

11:30 pm ($7): "A unique fusion of variety show and pulp superhero story, with all of the strengths of both and none of their weaknesses. And remember, all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do not see this show"at the Magnet theatre: Crisis!: The Improvised Comic Book

11:30 pm ($5): A rotating pool of improvisors perform in groups of five at Brooklyn's The Annoyance Theatre (367 Bedford Avenue; take J/M/Z to Marcy Avenue or L to Lorimer Street): Singles Motel

Midnight ($5): "A live monthly comedy game show in which three contestants participate in a battle of wits and knowledge for the chance to win a grand prize of 20 American dollars" at UCB East hosted by Ryan Simmons: Everyone's Favorite Game Show

[FREE] Midnight: "Every month comedian Dan King writes a pilot script for a new sitcom and hosts a live table read of the script. Itís important that you come see these live because these ideas will never, ever make it to television" at Queens LIC's The Creek upstairs theatre: Test Pilots

Friday Open Mics & Jams

5:00 pm ($5): Two-hour open-mic for 20 stand-ups performing for 5 minutes each, with sign-up online here, at the Stand Up NY Comedy Club (236 West 78th Street): Stand Up NY Open Mic

5:45 pm (no cover, 1 drink min. for both comics and audience members): Open mic stand-up providing 5-7 minutes per comic, running 1 hour. Arrive 30 minutes before the show to get on the signup sheet. This is a fine opportunity to perform at the only comedy club in the East Village: Eastville Comedy Club Open Mic

[ALMOST FREE] 6:00 pm ($1): PIT musical improv veterans mix with musical improv novices on-stage at the upstairs theatre for Pitch

[ALMOST FREE] 6:00 pm ($1): PIT improv veterans mix with improv novices on-stage at the downstairs lounge for Happy Hour

[FREE] 6:00 pm: An open-mic show on a lottery system (sign-ups happen at 5:45-6:00 pm) at The Creek upstairs theatre in Queens' Long Island City with host Eli Sairs: The Orphanage

[FREE] 7:00 pm: Open-mic stand-up, with 3 minutes per comic (unless not many folks show up, in which case there'll be more time), with names drawn out of a bucket at UCB East in the bar area ("Hot Chicks Room") hosted by Sarah Tollemache and/or Paul Oddo: The Friday Night Hot Chicks Open Mic

[FREE] 8:00 pm: An open-mic show that's first come, first serve, with each comic getting 5 minutes on stage at The Creek downstairs lounge in Queens' Long Island City: Mic and Cheese

Best Inexpensive Stand-Up, Improv, Sketch, and Storytelling

Upright Citizens Brigade Chelsea
(307 West 26th Street; 150-seater; shows free-$10; one of the most respected comedy theatres in the world)

Upright Citizens Brigade East
(153 East 3rd Street; 99-seat main theatre, bar area for open mics; shows free-$10)

The PIT
(123 East 24th Street; 99-seat upstairs theatre, 40-seat downstairs theatre; shows free-$15)

The Magnet
(254 West 29th Street; 60-seat theatre; shows $5-$10)

The Creek and the Cave
(Queens' Long Island City; 40-seat theatre upstairs, 25 downstairs; virtually all shows free)

The Annoyance Theatre
(367 Bedford Ave. in Brooklyn; J/M/Z to Marcy or L to Lorimer; 50-seat theatre; shows free-$10)

Best NYC Stand-Up Comedy Clubs

Comedy Cellar
(117 MacDougal Street; among the finest daily stand-up lineups in the world; 2-item min.)

The Stand
(239 Third Avenue; recent competitor to Comedy Cellar; no drink min.—support this policy!)

Carolines Comedy Club
(1626 Broadway; focuses on the world's top headliners, who perform hour-long sets; 2-drink min.)

Gotham Comedy Club
(208 West 23rd Street; headliners on weekends, specialty & lineup shows weekdays; 2-drink min.)

Eastville Comedy Club
(85 East 4th Street; strong weekend lineups; no cover using code HyReviews; 2-drink min.)

Greenwich Village Comedy Club
(99 MacDougal Street; convenient if Comedy Cellar's sold out; no cover using code HyReviews; 2-drink min.)

Comic Strip Live
(1568 Second Avenue, off 81st; Upper East Side club with typically solid lineups; 2-drink min.)

Stand Up NY
(236 West 78th Street, off Broadway; Upper West Side club with typically solid lineups; 2-drink min.)

Laughing Devil/The Standing Room
(4738 Vernon Blvd., by #7 train; Queens LIC club; free cover Fri-Sat with code LICVIP; 2-drink min.)

 

To view HyReviews.com NYC Comedy Picks from previous weeks, please click here.

 

Other NYC Live Shows, Heavily Marked Down via Goldstar:

Click Any Image That Interests You to See the Discount Offer

Hand to God  Big Dummy

Bayside the Musical  It's Only a Play

Blue Man Group  Hedwiig and the Angry Inch

Clinton the Musical

 

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HyReviews.com's Comedy Album of the Month:
Dave Hill's Let Me Turn You On

Dave Hill: Let Me Turn You On

Coming June 9th

This won't be released until June 9th, so I'm recommending it before actually hearing it.
That's how great Dave is.
$8.99 via Amazon. Pre-order here.

 

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Special Freebies & Discounts for HyReviews.com Insiders

Almost all the recommendations and discounts HyReviews.com provides appear directly
on this site. However, occasionally I may feel an offer is so special that it merits extra attention.
Also, sometimes comedy clubs, theatres, and others contact me with offers that they
don't want on a searchable Web page but that they're happy to provide to my readers.

If you'd like to take advantage of such opportunities, please provide your name and email address, and once in a while you'll receive a notice directly from me about cool deals.

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Please use the subscribe box below to become a comedy/theatre Insider.

 

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Special thanks to comedy photographers supreme Anya Garrett and Mindy Tucker for creating so many of the stellar photos that grace this site...and the sites of hundreds of NYC comics.

 

 

HyReviews.com Highlights

Please check out these New York City theatre sections of HyReviews.com:

Hy on Theatre Discounts: See Great Shows for as Little as $4

FringeNYC 2014 Coverage

Please also check out these New York City comedy sections of HyReviews.com:

Comedy Club Discounts

Previous HyReviews.com Videos of the Month

Previous Comedy Picks

Top NYC Comedy Venues

Other Notable Comedy Sites

For a comprehensive list of links to all the sections
on this site, please see the Site Index below (or click here).

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HyReviews.com Site Index

Best NYC Comedy Tonight

Previous Daily Comedy Picks

Comedy Videos of the Month: The Classics

Previous Comedy Videos of the Month

HyReviews.com Joke of the Week

NYC Comedy Club Discounts

Become a Comedy/Theatre Discount Insider

Top NYC Comedy Venues

Other Notable Comedy Sites

Comedy in the Moment: Del Close Improv Marathon

Comedy Scene by Scene: SketchFest NYC 07

Exceptional Comics

Interview with Carolyn Castiglia

Show Report 3/28/08: Kumail Nanjiani's Unpronounceable

Show Report 2/28/08: Invite Them Up Ends Glorious Six-Year Run

Show Report 2/10/08: Alternative, Alshmernative—Kristen Schaal

Show Report 11/12/07: Andy Blitz Sees the Future

Show Report 9/24/07: Dave Hill Turns Things Around

Shockingly Delightful: Offensive Fest 2007

Hy on TV

Hy on Human Giant

Hy On Theatre

Hy on Theatre Discounts: See Great Shows for as Little as $4

FringeNYC 2014 Coverage

FringeNYC 2013 Coverage

FringeNYC 2012 Coverage

FringeNYC 2011 Coverage

FringeNYC 2010 Coverage

FringeNYC 2009 Coverage

FringeNYC 2008 Coverage

FringeNYC 2007 Coverage

FringeNYC 2007 Performers Gallery

FringeNYC 2006 Coverage

FringeNYC 2005 Coverage

Notable NYC Actors

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Comedy Club Discounts

If you'd enjoy an elegant evening at an NYC comedy club

but also want to save some money, please click here.

You can get free tickets for all shows at the Eastville Comedy Club,

free tickets to most shows at the Broadway Comedy Club, and

free & 50% discount ticket offers for Dangerfield's Comedy Club.

 

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Top NYC Comedy Venues

The following are the primary theatres hosting notable NYC comedy shows:

Upright Citizens Brigade Chelsea

Upright Citizens Brigade East

The Peoples Improv Theater

The Magnet

The Creek and the Cave (Queens LIC)

The Annoyance Theatre (Brooklyn)

Littlefield (Brooklyn)

Union Hall (Brooklyn)

 

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Notable Comedy Sites

I'm trying to keep this section super-concise,

but If a top site isn't listed that you think oughta be,

please drop me a note and I'll take a close look.

 

Comedy Coverage

(in alphabetical order):

The Apiary

BestNewYorkComedy.com

Brooklyn Vegan

Comedy Central Insider

The Comic's Comic

Dead Frog

HyReviews.com

Jester

 

Comedy Providers

(in alphabetical order):

Atom.com

Comedy Central Video Clips

Funny or Die

Jokes.com

The Onion

Super Deluxe

23/6

UCB Comedy

YouTube Comedy Videos

 

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Hy's Current Favorite Craigslist Ads

 

Please note: Note a word has been changed in the ads below. My comments are in boldface.

 

Poet/Artist/God's Wife Looking for a Literary Agent or Publisher

Date: 2010-02-04, 10:19 am EST

Reply to: kristiedono@yahoo.com

 

I have a wonderful poetry book, creative, wild images and a really good magical story to tell.

 

[You have a poetry book—um, with images and a story?]

 

I am looking to sell my poetry book with images and then my story to someone.

 

[So you have a poetry book with images...and you also have a story in an undefined form. And for some reason you need to sell the poetry before you sell the story...to "someone." That's a bit confusing, but whatever; it's not like you're claiming to be a wordsmith...]

 

I am God's wife, and the story is about our life together.

 

[Ah.]

 

It's got spirituality, love, tragedy, adventure, crime, violence, music, sex, a little bit of everything.

 

[Actually, you left out drugs.
But that's okay; at this point, drugs are heavily implied...]

 

I have a diary of our letters to each other, and the poems are like letters I wrote to God in a creative way.

 

[As opposed to the non-creative steamy porn that you actually wrote to your stud boyfriend God.]

 

This will be a big hit, it is a beautiful story, you won't be disappointed.

 

[The odds are good. God's last book was a huge bestseller.]

 

God is a black man on Earth and a musician. I have proof.

 

[It's a hip-hopera DVD titled Trapped in the Closet.
Thing is, God turned insane in 2000. (Which explains a lot...)]

 

This is a great story. I am also a great writer and poet and artist.

 

[And 100% real. You can check out Kristie's website at http://www.harttherapy.blogspot.com.]

 

 

Need Urban Ghost Writers (Metro Atlanta)

Date: 2009-11-13, 6:33PM EST

Reply to: writelikeyoufeel@yahoo.com

 

Looking for creative ghost writers with excellent grammar skills and ideas.

 

[Because that's what makes a writer great: killer grammar, and concepts.]

 

Male and females are encouraged to apply.

 

[Translation: Sorry, I don't work with hermaphrodites.]

 

Serious inquiries only...Please do not respond if you are not serious!

 

[Translation: I'm sooo tired of people making fun of me...]

 

 

Writer Wanted for Book to be Published (Hartland, WI)

Date: 2009-09-29, 1:52AM CDT

Reply to: job-tvm4r-1397614923@craigslist.org

 

I am writing a book and need someone who can

help me with writing my story.

 

I am seeking someone who is spiritual in nature

and believes that by reading this

you are the person designed to write it.

 

Give me a call at 262-xxx-xxxx and introduce yourself.

 

[Hello. I have been designed to write your book.

Thank you for fulfilling my destiny.

The days, months, and years of constantly reading

Craigslist ads in search of purpose have finally

been rewarded. I am eager to start work on

our spiritual instant classic I Was Born

to Ghostwrite Someone Else's Book.]

 

 

Writers for Wheelchair Book (San Diego—Mission Valley)

Date: 2009-09-28, 10:41AM PDT

Reply to: bouncesdtalent@gmail.com

 

Easy Life Inc. is looking to write a book about purchasing a new wheelchair.

We are looking for 2-3 writers to provide 200 pages of content each.

 

[In other words, we want a 600-page book...about buying a wheelchair.]

 

We want fresh ideas that relate to buying a wheelchair.

 

[Idea #42: Raise cash as drug mule.
Cops will never suspect crippled old coot like you.]

 

Please send a sample or two of your writings, your rates,

and 2-3 BRIEF topics that you would contribute to this book.

 

Writings will be submitted weekly for originality

and to assure you are going in the right direction.

 

[If you're going in the wrong direction, we'll grab

hold of your wheelchair and point you the right way.]

 

We want you to exhaust any and all ideas

that go into purchasing a motorized wheelchair.

 

[At which point the Seventh Seal will be broken,

commencing the Apocalypse.]

 

Once you have exhausted that

go into manual wheelchairs,

then walkers, crutches, etc.

 

[And after you've exhausted all hope of support,

we want to you to crawl on your belly before us.

Crawl like the worm you are.]

 

Previous SEO experience a plus. Local to San Diego preferred.

 

In the subject line: WHEELCHAIR

 

[Or just: END OF THE WORLD.

Either way.]

 

Take a look at our website at http://www.powerchairatnocost.com.

 

Compensation: $750 to $1,500 DOE

 

[Again, this ad is 100% real. If you have

fresh ideas about buying a wheelchair...]

 

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If you have any other type of writing or editing need, I can probably tackle it as well. To get in touch, please email me at hy@hyreviews.com.

 

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